I’d never considered myself brave or particularly courageous. In my head, those adjectives were reserved for people who rescued kittens from burning buildings and other fictional personas like Indiana Jones.
I let that idea simmer in the deepest parts of my teenage brain. In high school, I chose to stop using chemicals to straighten my hair. I simply let it grow from my head the way it naturally grew from birth.
The way it naturally grew from birth.
And I needed bravery to do that?
To let my hair grow the way it naturally grew from birth?
It baffled me in some ways, but I did understand why my classmate would consider my hairstyle choice to be an act of bravery.
My hair in its natural state defied cultural norms, especially for women.
It was short and nappy.
Some women might get away with one or the other, but daring to don a do that was both short and nappy at the same time was sure to get a girl ostracized.
But it’s what I wanted.
And that’s what this post, no, this entire blog is about–living the life you really want.
So, in many ways, this post is bigger than anyone’s afro. It’s about hair, but it could just as easily be about any natural inclination you have, however mundane, that goes against the social grain. We all know that friend who pretends to hate/love something just because “everyone else” hates/loves it. (Yes, I like the Twilight movies, and I don’t care how many “cool” kids claim to hate them.)
We all (you and me and everyone) long to do things that might break some unspoken (or spoken) rule.
“Every man in this family is either a doctor or a lawyer.”
“Real men don’t dance.”
“Good women stick with their husbands no matter what.”
“Pretty girls have long, silky, straight hair.”
“When you submit your will to someone else’s opinion, a part of you dies.” ―Lauryn Hill.
I got my fair share of teasing, insults, and well-intentioned disapproval because of my hair throughout high school and beyond, but I’d decided that my freedom felt way better than the acceptance of others who were too afraid to break free themselves.
And from that high school experience, here are five lessons I’ve learned that I hope will encourage you to change hairstyles, change careers, or do whatever’s on your heart.
1. A little social punishment won’t hurt as much as the pain of knowing that you’re not free to be yourself and live the life you really want.
2. Whatever decision you make, people will get over it. If they don’t, then get over them. “Those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
3. Some people who haven’t found the courage to do a certain thing will try to put down those who have.
4. Courage develops over a lifetime, but only if you work at it.
5. Being yourself is a lot more fun and a lot less work than trying to be someone else.
What did high school teach you about courage?