When I began blogging, I made a firm decision to always present a positive, hopeful, encouraging, and solution-focused position every time I write. I did not want to create just another platform for ranting, complaining, mean-spirited criticism, or merely reporting problems. On this blog I do talk about potentially controversial or painful topics such as colorism and absent fathers, but I do my best to avoid griping, ranting, blaming, and complaining. The reason I talk about these issues is to encourage others to confess their own pain and struggle and to give them hope and empowerment for positive solutions, healing, and growth.
Complaining Vs. Confessing
There are essential distinctions between complaining and confessing. When we complain and rant, we focus on the faults of others without acknowledging our own shortcomings and complicity. Complaints and rants don’t promote solutions, healing, or growth.
Confessing is preferable because it’s meant to free us from guilt and burden so that we can make significant changes. Confession is about letting go, moving forward, courage, agency, faith, hope, and reconciling both the limits and potential of our humanness.
The Courage to Confess
It’s easier to rant, fuss, and complain than it is to confess. We don’t like to face our own flaws. It hurts to be honest about our struggles even to ourselves, so the idea of sharing with people who might judge and reject us can be terrifying.
In an early post on colorism I explained why I hadn’t talked much about the subject before. I had been afraid of what people might think or say, so for years I kept my thoughts, feelings, and ideas to myself. When I finally built up the courage to confess, some of my fears cam true. A few people misinterpreted my message, made mean-spirited comments, and tried to discredit and shutdown my views and my voice.
But many more people responded positively (or at least thoughtfully), and I knew my blog was fulfilling its purpose.
Costs vs. Benefits of Confessing
Confessing can be painful, but it’s worth the difficulty. Being honest with ourselves is the first step in making our lives better. When we confess to others we are free to come out of hiding, we are able to find support in dealing with our struggles, and we inspire and encourage others around us.
Confession helps to repair broken hearts.